well friends. today it happened. the day I have been told for thirty years would be magical, it would begin the best year of my life, the "golden year" I believe is what the kids are calling it. Today I turned thirty on the thirtieth. Wowza.
magical, not really, enjoyable mos def. I share a birrfday with my husband (I KNOW, sharing a birthday should be illegal, and an only child sharing a birthday, come on.) so we gotta sorta come together on how we spend such a special day. we decided to drive to Denver and visit the aquarium. it was...fishy. we were entertained, enlightened, and agreed we are all good on visits to the aquarium for this decade. we then had a little family party with my parents at their house and called it a day. it was actually nice to just keep it simple.
Throughout this day my phone, e mail, etc flooooowed with happy birthday messages from friends and family. I was reminded that 1. I am REALLY bad at remembering other people's birthdates, so I am always beyond impressed people remember mine. And 2. More people care about me that I give myself credit for. AWWWW (gag, but true)
As I look back at my life I realize I have come a loooooong way. And really, what a strange, but simple little life it has been. I am constantly trying to figure things out. Why did I do that? What was I thinking? How the hell did that happen? You know what I mean. And when I think back at the simple, beautiful, perfect road...It makes sense.(potholes, road blocks, U turns, all of it.)
I have no idea what my 30s will start in my life, but I know what my 20s have stopped.
I have stopped defining "happy" with other people's definitions.
I have stopped comparing my version of happily ever after with anyone/everyone else's
I have stopped worrying what anyone, but the few that REALLY count, thinks about my choices.
I have stopped trying to impress those that do not impress me.
I have stopped needing instant gratification (which is super duper hard for this gal).
I have stopped disrespecting myself, or letting any one else for that matter.
I have stopped looking at what I don't have and more at ALL that I do.
I have stopped worrying if I am good enough, smart enough, this enough, that enough (I am, I know it)
I have stopped wishing and wanting, and now, I make things happen.
I have stopped wondering who I am.
I have stopped trying to become her.
I have stopped...and learned to actually just enjoyed moments for what they are.
I could not be more grateful to be turning 30 and starting this new chapter. I am exactly who I always wanted to be, but never really knew it. I have big plans and bigger ideas as to how to take all that I finally feel confident in knowing of myself and making all of it my reality. Wish me luck folks, I'm on it and its my time to shine.
I mean really, I'm not gettin' any younger.
