true love.

i have been back and forth pretty much my entire life wondering what true love is. however, more so in these last few months than ever. does it even have one single definition, or do you make your own? is it an act or a feeling? will i recognize it when i finally have it, or will i let it slip by?

after days of being tested, poked, scared, relieved, without any adequate sleep, pushed to the edge, and forced to realize what matters most,

i finally know...

true love is.

*having someone to be yourself in front of 100%, no filter, no guard, no second thoughts.

*having a partner who treats you like a partner, who listens and considers your thoughts   

 and opinions.

*having a person who will drop everything at your first sign of a wince in pain to let you  

 squeeze their hand through it.

*having a partner who can't help but make you laugh often, even though someone could    

 very easily bust a stitch if they aren't careful.

*having someone who will kiss your face and tell you how pretty you are even when you 

 know its not the truth.

*having someone who will just sit by you as your influx of hormones comes pouring out of 

 your eyeballs without any warning or real reason.

*having someone notice, praise, and tell you aloud how proud they are (more than once) of your hard work, 

 bravery and efforts.

*having someone who pulls their little bed up right next to yours in the middle of the night 

 so when you wake up you can hold hands and know you are not alone.

*having someone who will try and hide their own fear and emotions for your sake, when 

 they are scared silly themselves.

*having someone who will let down their guard and just cry when they see you in an 

 uncomfortable situation.

*having someone consider you before themselves when it really 

 does count.

so clearly there is no one way to define true love. it is way too precious to ever be limited to just a feeling  or just a thought. yes i have it right here looking me in my eyes. and no. i would never ever let it pass me by. it's not easy. and it's not flawless. it's not always simple. and it's not without some give.
 however,

its here.

its mine. 

its real.

its scary.

and i know now i will do whatever it takes to make sure it never ever goes away.