it has been one week since our sweet noa magnolia has come and i cannot believe how nothing is the same. seriously nothing. everything has changed.
everything from how many hours i sleep, to who lives in our home, to what we talk about, to where we keep our garbage can. EVERYTHING. i just cannot believe how literally one moment/person/happening can do so much.
and i have learned a few gigantic lessons in my one monumental week.
one. going from one baby to two babies it waaaaayyyyyyyy harder than going from no baby to one baby. don't ever let anyone tell you different. it is a constant where is so-an-so, who fed so-and-so, does everyone have enough momma time, on and on...and on.
two. in addition to bringing home an entire new member of our family, we have had to also deal with bili lights (yes those buggers come in a large, inconvenient home edition), blood draws, nursing woes, colic, and oh yea...did i mention out first day home dash michael got the stomach flu??!!
(if you know me at all, you know the throwing up child is enough to send me over the edge. blech)
oh and three. last night as aaron and i tried to figure out how the hell to divide and conquer these little people who now tie us in population. i had to forcefully remind myself that god has got this. so many little things have gone wacky in the past week. and all of them could have been terrible, horrible, no good, very bad situations. really. that is putting it mildly. and yet, all of them have been just fine. maybe not welcome by any stretch, but really the best of a worst. i concentrated on how blessed we are to have navigated this first week with no permanent damage and then even though i have heard it a billion times in church, listened to people say it, read it in tag lines, and even said it myself, i i realized that my life, our lives, are in god's hands. sounds silly i know, but it was like a switch. it was this overwhelming yet obvious realization. it was a moment like one i have only ever experienced once before in my life when dash was born. i remember holding him in our room late at night our first week home and having this same clear, strange, but obvious realization of the word "joy". i remember thinking this is it. this is what the word joy actually feels like. weird. and so great. and now, here i am, changed situation, but all still the same. and here it is, a new realization not of a single word this time, but a phrase, god has got this, it's in god's hands. and just like that, without even leaving my sofa, even my faith had changed.
children will change you, your life, your days and everything you know. duh. but my mommy mantra from week one, with two...
embrace the change.
if your mind is open, you remember what you've got over what you don't, and you have lots and lots of faith in everyone you know. you can only come out changed...
for the better.
