If you are a momma, I am certain you have felt momma guilt at least once, but probably not...you've probably felt it a million times over a million different things! I carry around the worst momma guilt all. of. the. time. It is one of the hardest things for me to deal with as a parent. I find myself feeling bad about little things like sending him to school in soft pants that are way too small, even though I swear they fit fine this morning, or not cutting the skin entirely off his apple because I know that's how he likes it. To big things like, leaving him at my parents while I workout, and hating that sometimes I am just so damn tired at the end of the day I can't take the trip to the library.
Today Dash really wanted a man around to rough house with, and I, as the momma, just could not deliver...ouch.
My biggest cause of bittersweet guilt is, working. Three, almost four years down the road and I still feel awful that I leave him with someone else while I go to work. I know, I know, its not an option and I am doing more of a favor by providing him with a nice home, food, fun, ummm, health insurance, AND modeling all-the-while that the best things in life aren't free, nor will they be handed to you. But still. HATES.
So as Monday rears her fugly head my way, I crawl into bed next to my little man and vow to make every second we do have count. To give him my full attention when we are together. I vow to not get distracted by texting, facebook, e mail, and dvr (they will ALL still be there after bed time). To suck it up and make sure we are involved in life and fun no matter how hard the work day was. To channel the very best parent in the world and remember that from the time I was a little gal until this day, he worked all of the time...and somehow every memory and every day I still feel like he was always there for me. I vow to turn this guilt into gratitude and remember that I am always doing my best and rather than waste energy on feeling bad, take it all in with thoughts of how lucky I am to have this opportunity.
Ah even writing it feels like I have taken a step in the right direction. So friends, here's to moving forward sans guilt!
(ok the truth?? this will be waaaayyy easier said than done, but I'm sure as sugar gonna try)
