i have waited an obscene amount of time to meet this little girl growing inside my body. like eleven and a half years, ok actual time, 261 days. and now with just a couple weeks to go i feel so mixed. i want her out. i want to see her. smell her. hold her. tell her everything i know and have been thinking for so long. i want to dress her. i want to feed her. i want to share my days with her.
but i also want her to take her time. i want her to be good and ready. i want her to know that its ok to take your time. actually. i want that to be the very first lesson she learns. at thirty, i am still trying to master it, so if she nails that life lesson now, hot damn, she'll be a few step ahead i suppose.
after all these days of wishing away the nausea. the anxiety. the pounds. the hormones. i just want to freeze. i am so afraid of surgery. so afraid of recovery. so afraid of all the unknown. i feel confident that god has got this, but i still wonder with respectful worry what exactly the plans will play out to be. blame the type A gal in me.
i look forward to the blog with her photo. with our photo. with her stats. i look forward to introducing you to this little lady that has flipped my entire world around in all the scariest, unusual, most beautiful ways.
she'll be here soon, but not too soon, i hope...
